I was sitting in my office chair and twirling my hair like I normally do. And then a series of emotions hit me. Like a train really. Out of nowhere. I was comfortable. And secure. And safe. And then I didn't feel any of that anymore.
Because it all turned into mush. And then I was worried and anxious and desperate to find a solution to any problem in my way. This isn't the first time that I have been struck with worry. Maybe it's that everything has to be perfect and go my way. Maybe it's that I am trying to control all outcomes. Or maybe what it really comes down to is that I don't trust that God is going to take care of me and provide for me. So maybe worry happens when we aren't putting our hope in Him or trusting Him in His goodness.
And then, maybe, it all boils down to one question: Is He really Good? Is God really good? I know what the word says about His goodness. And so I know the truth. But I often find myself living like I am not really sure about His goodness. Like I am standing by a pool of His promises, but I am just dipping my toes in the water. Or maybe somedays I will put a whole foot in the water. And today I am left with this question: What would my life look like if I sprinted towards that pool of promises and dove right in?