I've sat in my living room and in their living rooms and spilled my heart. We've all shared our hearts and there's one question my friends kept encouraging me to ask Jesus: "Where was Jesus when that was happening?"
Where was Jesus when I was losing my baby?
Where was Jesus when __________ was happening to me?
Where was He?
It's a question I've never had the courage to ask because I was afraid of how I might try to fill in the blanks. I was afraid Jesus would give no answer and my mind would wonder to assumptions.
But just over one week ago, when we were standing there praising God, He answered the question I would not ask.
Unprompted, He said to me, "Jordan, when that was happening to you, I was giving my life to make you whole again."
I wept. When all that my physical eyes and mind could come up with was abandonment, He was laying down His life to make me whole. And whole He shall make me.
Mockery. Public humiliation. Beatings. Crucifixion. The Romans had designed crucifixion so that it was the most amount of suffering over the longest period of time. Jesus still laid down His life. No one took His life from Him - before He walked to His death, Jesus said "No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded." John 10:18
When our souls met their deepest sorrows - when our souls were all scarred - He was laying down His life to make us whole again. This world is broken and all of creation is waiting (Romans 8:18-21) for freedom from death and decay. All of us come up short. None of us could get to heaven - we were doomed to a permanent death. Forever dead.
But God made a way for His children - us - to never know the permanent death and decay. One day He'll raise all of His saints from the dead - every last child of God will have a permanent home in His kingdom. A kingdom with no tears (Revelation 21:4). Jesus defeated death, which we'll get to read together on Sunday, and He's coming back again. This time, to have His victory over all evil.
And that was us. We were the evil ones - having fallen short (Romans 3:23-26) because of our sin! But when we belong to Jesus, we are made new (2 Corinthians 5:17). When we say "yes" to what Jesus did on the cross, we have permanent peace with God. We are no longer doomed to be destroyed, but inheritors of a good kingdom - one God has been preparing for us all along.
Reading through these verses, this is the first time I've noticed Matthew 27:52-53. Just a foreshadowing of what's to come when Jesus returns.
I'll be back tomorrow on the blog with day 6. I would love to hear how He meets you and speaks to you this week. Let me know in the comments below or hop over to Instagram and let me know there. Praying for you, friend.