It will always feel like that...
I waited in line for my sandwich and kept looking at my phone. The line was so long, but trying to navigate through the lines in the cafeteria would take even longer. Cat Snack it is. I went through the list again in my head: finish the problem set for Machine Organization, start program on shortest algorithm, get to physical therapy by 1pm, head to softball practice at 2:30pm, pack for our weekend tournament, take the two tests I was going to miss on Friday... Calculus 3 and Numerical Analysis, and try to breathe.
"What kind of bread do you want, Jordan?"
I knew the guy from high school; he was just a few years ahead of me. In the youth group he had always watched out for Isaac and I and we respected him for that. He was kind of an encourager to us... in his own, goofy way. I told him what to put on my sandwich and he asked me about Isaac and myself: "It's so crazy because I just feel like I have a huge list of things to do and I have been working so hard to get it done, but it just doesn't feel like I have accomplished anything."
"It will always feel like that when you don't put God first."
BAM. I stood there like an idiot because I really couldn't believe he would be so blunt. And my pride wanted to tell him about how I did put God first... but then I realized I really wasn't. Really, I was putting my list before God. And I know that things aren't going to magically get done, but I know where my priorities should be. And I knew right then that I needed to make a change. I thanked him for being honest with me and he shared his own experience about not putting God first.
And at the end of that day I trusted God more than I did the day before. && I want the same for today.