I've never really done the whole hammock thing. Not the grab-your-eno-and-go-find-two-trees-in-the-wilderness kind of hammock thing. But go ahead and call me an adventurer! I've found two trees in the "wilderness" - aka small town park - and I've been sitting here for hours.
I have one main message that I want others to hear as long as I can speak: you are so loved.
And I believe that with all of my heart, but I've struggled to accept Jesus' love for myself in the same way.
I can feel it inside me when someone tries to encourage me - I almost shut down. I keep the conversation going, sure. I take the encouragement, sure. But deep down, I've gone just a bit numb trying to endure someone else's love for me. It's like I'm waiting for the ball to drop... for a giant "but I hate this about you..."
Deep down, I love others immensely, but I don't ever receive someone else's love for me in the same way.
I've been leaning in, wanting so badly to feel loved and encouraged, but I've really been keeping others at arms-length.
Praise God that He just keeps pursuing me even when I try to keep Him at a distance. He has community for me. He has loved me fully - wide and long and deep and high - and I want to walk in that love.
So this is my season to see and walk in His love.
This is my season to know how wide and long and deep and high His love is for me.
It reminds me of that scene from Pride and Prejudice where she's standing on the edge of the cliff. The camera has a higher vantage point and makes you feel like the person filming must be flying. She's facing the sea in her long dress and the wind is whipping it from side to side behind her.
That's how I feel while I sit here in this hammock. Like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, feeling the wind at my face, and just being loved.
No need to go and do.
No need to achieve.
Just a desire to spend time with Jesus
Isaac and I were going to buy kayaks for summer adventuring. But Mr. Washing Machine bit the dust so we decided to do the adult thing and make sure clean clothes would be in abundance this summer. Something tells me a little bit of laundry detergent in the lake wouldn't do the trick.
We bought two Enos for our summer adventures and I don't regret it one bit. It's put me in the mood to go camping and I'm down with that as long as we can bring a mattress. Also: bug repellent, a spacious tent, gourmet meals, and no bugs. I'll let you know how that goes.
Here's the challenge I'm giving to myself and I think you should join me: ask God to see His great love today.
Our prayers don't have to be fancy or anything: "God, show me how you love me today."
Because, friend, you are so very, very loved.