A year of pouring out & days of Daniel patting my back
Daniel was waiting for me when I got home today. I pulled into the driveway, slipped my computer bag onto my shoulder and walked to the front door. There he was. I could see his hands pressed to the glass door and his face lit up, "Momma!"
He stomped his feet and threw his hands in the air, asking for me to pick him up as quick as I could (aka toddler whining). I did what any Mom does in that situation: I shoved all of my belongings onto Isaac and scooped Daniel into my arms as fast as I could. He laid his head on my shoulder and patted my back. He's into that these days... the patting my back.
Before I laid him in his crib tonight, he did it again. It moves me. It's a humbling thing to be loved by your child. It's not something he owes to me. But he still loves me and it's beautiful.
The house is quiet now. I'm sitting on our bed, and Isaac's headphones are in because we both needed some down time - some alone time.
And when I'm still for just long enough, I realize how deeply thankful I am. Even in the heartache. I'm thankful for quiet moments when the sun is gone and the cooling temperatures silence the night air. I'm thankful for a husband who wants to massage my neck or hands or feet. I'm thankful that he took care of dinner for Daniel tonight so I could finalize a few things & hire a virtual assistant! Oh, friends. I feel like I'm breathing deeper already.
I'm thankful that Isaac will brainstorm guides and ideas for the shop that's coming! He even helps me figure out which products would help people the most. That way I can spend my time on the products that matter and forget the products that don't. I'm thankful that he supports me writing what I'm called to write in the online world. I don't take that lightly.
I'm thankful for not being ahead on my work. Okay, I'm really not thankful at all for being behind! I want to have weeks worth of blog content ready to go, but the truth is that I'm just sitting down to write publicly for the first time today! It's imperfect, but it's beautiful.
I'm thinking back over the last 2.5 years tonight and I'm immensely grateful. There have been so many challenges & trials that we have walked through. But God. But He reigns over every part of our lives and He hasn't forgotten us. He longs to be kind to us and He gives good gifts to His people. I claimed this truth over my life when I was miscarrying: The Lord gives blessings, and not curses to those who belong to Him.
Don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid to let God provide for your needs. Don't be afraid to strongly encourage others. Don't be afraid to ask for big things. These are the lessons I learned while reading 1 Kings 17. I'm sharing those lessons and a bit more on Twelve One Women today: 3 Leadership Lessons We Can Learn from Elijah.
I want to love. Big. Courageously. Without fear. Without thought of myself.
I'm spending the next few weeks planning out 2017 for my business and I'm eager. God told me to wait to launch a shop for other creatives and to use this year to pour out. He changed my heart this year. I want to launch a shop because I believe that there are ways I can help others.
There's a simpler way to edit that doesn't involve stress and obsessing. I created that way and I want to share it with everyone I can. Because I want creatives to create a business they love around a life they love. What if someone could spend more time with their kids, family, or husband because of presets? That's my story. We hired Jenna and I created the presets so I could spend more time with Daniel. How could I not give that to others? My heart is full - full to the brim and overflowing - thinking about what's coming. Pouring out doesn't stop at the end of 2016. Because pouring out is now the heart of my shop.
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Here's to quiet nights, momma-Daniel days, and crying happy tears! Teaching other creatives is one of my favorite things and it's finally, finally, time to start developing a shop!