A letter to my 14-year-old self
Hi 14-year-old Jordan!
Happy birthday to your little brunette self. You woke up to breakfast in bed (thanks, mom) and the weather was nice enough for open windows. And do you remember that card that came in the mail and was waiting for you this morning? The one that gave you butterflies in your stomach? The one from Isaac?
You're going to marry that great man.
I know that you mostly have a lot of fears right now. You want to make everyone happy and you're afraid of making a single mistake. I know that you ache when you mess up or feel like you have let someone down. And I know that you think God won't forgive you unless you cry.
There is more for you than fear. And God, the One you love, is the One who loved you first. It's that real kind of love. Yeah, I know you're nodding your head at me, 14-year-old Jordan, and you're pretending you agree. But let those words sink in just a little. Actual grace has been given to you even though you don't really understand the meaning of real grace yet. And actual love is yours, too. God loves you, 14-year-old Jordan.
There is going to be pain in this life; there are going to be troubles. I have lived the next ten years and know that the road isn't going to be an easy one. But those next ten years are going to be the most beautiful years yet. Each year you are going to love God more and more. Each year God is going to show you how to do life with Isaac. And let me tell you that Isaac is a great man to do life with.
Keep taking pictures with your mom's camera. Be inspired by the water drops on freshly washed grapes. Yeah, it's weird that you take pictures of trash cans on mission trips. But take those pictures. God is showing you the light. And what you see now is only a fraction of the light that you will see in 10 years.
Don't worry so much. Pray instead. And pray about everything. Jordan, God answers prayers. I would know.
p.s. Don't take yourself too seriously.