I remember sitting on the couch in my office while Isaac and I talked to our midwife. We told her how Daniel's first two days of life had felt like weeks. She told us that the next weeks would feel like days. Time has a way of sneaking around, doesn't it? It's there and then it's just gone!
Daniel is already two months old and it just doesn't seem real. In two months time, we have shot 7 weddings, 8 sessions, and I have blogged every weekday (minus one). Those numbers make me happy because I love achieving. Yes, it's easy to write all of this down but it has been hard to make it happen.
I have faced some challenges in the last two months:
1. Getting enough sleep 2. Wondering if we are spending enough quality time as a family of three 3. Getting motivated to work 4. Writer's block almost every day 5. Making the last tweaks to our team editing system 6. Being inspired on a daily basis 7. Unrealistic expectations 8. Feeling like I didn't accomplish anything most days 9. Wondering if I made the right call about when to take maternity leave 10. Figuring out how to lead a team and not just run things myself 11. Feeling burned out 12. Fighting pneumonia 13. I stuck my hand in a dirty diaper so many times
I want so much. And the so much doesn't include a ton of things. It includes memories with my guys and impacting the people that I meet through Jordan Brittley. It includes loving people boldly and loving my King with all of me every single day of my life. But some days don't feel like the so much that I want so badly. But I'm still running, friends.
Come and run with me.
I remember when I was just a few hours into labor I told my midwife that I couldn't do it. And you know what she told me? She said, "you are doing it." And she was right. As hard as those words were to hear, I was already doing it. So maybe today doesn't feel like the ideal day that you had in mind and maybe everything didn't go smoothly. Maybe you feel like you just can't do it. But let me tell you something: you are already doing it.
I'm talking to myself, too. After a long, exhausting day we decided to photograph our nightly routine. It's something that I have started looking forward to each evening. We start by spending some time loving on Daniel: he talks to us, we talk back, and he giggle-smiles. It's the best. Then we give him a bath, feed him, and read him a book in the oversized rocker. These photos are precious to me. It's the good kind of hard work to raise Daniel.