11 Things you should know about marriage

Today is the day that my sister marries her best friend. During the rehearsal I just kept thinking, "Is this really happening? How in the world is this happening?" I remember running through the yard in bathing suits and making rainbows with the sprinklers when we were little. I remember playing catch and making her be my goalie while I practiced soccer (she quit that same summer). Today feels a little surreal. It makes me think back on my wedding day. It didn't hit me that I was really getting married until I was walking down the aisle. I knew from premarital counseling that marriage wasn't easy but there is just really no good way to explain the challenges that come with doing life with your best friend.

11 Things you should know about marriage
11 Things you should know about marriage

1) You will be throat-chopped in the middle of the night

I will never forget the night that I woke up to Isaac's elbow hitting my throat. I gasped and it took forever (like 2 seconds) for me to recover.

2) You will learn that the toilet bowl has a seat for a reason

I grew up with sisters and never experienced the terror of falling into the toilet in the middle of the night. It can happen to anyone.

3) Everything is better because you're doing it together

Dishes, laundry, cooking, cleaning is always better when you team up and do it together. Turn on the music, kiss between the chores, and enjoy doing life together.

4) Money is not everything

It doesn't matter if you get married in college and don't have a dime to your name or if you have all the money you can stand. I have never heard a couple talk about this area who had it figured out from the beginning of their marriage. I think it's important to realize that money isn't everything. Create a list of financial goals and achieve them together.

5) You're on the same team

We heard some friends of ours talking about being on the same team in marriage and that really resonated with us.

6) You have to learn your marriage language

When we got married, I felt like we forgot how to speak the same language. We would talk around each other, get frustrated, and then realize that we were saying the same thing! I have talked to so many couples who have experienced this too! You're not alone when you are struggling to speak the same language. Just go back to #5 and give it another shot.

7) Talk to each other

Don't treat each other like you're just roommates. Talk to each other and share everything with each other. It is so worth it to be vulnerable.

8) Don't talk bad about each other or put each other down

Just focus on building each other up. That's all. It's always okay to be honest about where your marriage is with your friends as long as both of you agree that's an okay talking point. Build each other up even when you don't feel like it. 

9) Be real about your marriage

You are not alone! Marriage is hard for everyone (or at least everyone that I know)! I think that it's important to guard your marriage and protect it. I also think that it's important to share your personal struggles so that others can benefit and grow in their own marriages. Talk with each other about what you're comfortable sharing with others.

10) Don't settle for brokenness

I would guess that you didn't get married so that you could live your days in a broken marriage. If you feel like you're in a season of brokenness and you feel like there isn't hope, I want to speak truth into your life and tell you that there most certainly is. I have heard from many friends that it can get especially difficult around 10 years of marriage. The problem is that many marriages just remain broken after a hard season. Don't settle for brokenness.

If you know Jesus, ask Him to fight for your marriage. Ask Him to bring restoration. He is the ultimate counselor, healer, and redeemer.

11) Enjoy each other

Make memories. Be intentional. Reminisce. Make a bucket list. Don't go to sleep angry and give each other shoulder rubs.

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